Hey darlings, Lauren here! One of the most important things to me for our wedding day was to make sure that the day celebrated Derek and I as a couple, and really felt like us. That meant involving him in the planning process, and understanding what was and wasn’t important to him. I am SO excited to bring my sweet husband, Derek, on the blog today to give his perspective on wedding planning and how to involve your fiance in wedding planning!
So without further ado, here’s Derek!
So you want to get your fiance more involved in the fun, yet stressful, wedding planning process? It’s easy to get carried away with the intricate details of the perfect wedding day, but if you want this to be a collaborative, engaged (pun intended), process with your husband-to-be, here are a couple of things to keep in mind.
1. Reality Check – The reality is that your fiance likely has very little preference on many of the wedding day details that you lose sleep over. Do you like these colors? How about these napkins? What about this centerpiece? 99% of men care about 1) cost and 2) that you like it. If it checks those boxes you’ll hear a “that’s nice” or “that’s good” and that will be the end of it. This isn’t a lack of interest as much as it is a lack of strong opinion. Besides, there’s nothing worse than expressing a subjective opinion about liking something and having to explain why. The answer? “I just do.”
2. Find the Things He Has an Interest In – With all that being said there are as many things that do interest him as those that do not. If he likes music or food he might like to help finding a band/DJ and picking out the food/bar, or if he is a planner he might enjoy tracking costs in spreadsheets or laying out a floorplan of the ceremony and reception. Find the things you want to tackle together and those you want to divide and conquer, after all, that’s what marriage is all about.
3. Make It Fun – When he is involved make sure it’s fun. The last thing you want is for the planning to feel like a chore or that his opinion doesn’t matter. Ultimately, the wedding should be a reflection of you as a couple, not individuals, and an exciting collaborative process will yield just that. Keep it fun and keep it light.
Keep these thoughts in mind as plan your wedding day with your fiance. Some stress in the process is unavoidable, but the best thing you can do is to muddle through it together and have fun along the way.